Quick question: Have you ever tried to have sex while standing on your head, in a mine-field, surrounded by a moat filled with a million blood thirsty sharks? I certainly hope not. But if so, how was it? Not very good, I would guess. (Unless you’re into that type of thing. And if you are: We’re not judging. Okay, maybe we are. Just a little.)
All joking aside, today’s society makes so many demands on us that our lives become unnecessarily chaotic and unapologetically overwhelming. We’re inundated by so many happenings that we forget to let life just, well...happen. It gets to the point where life itself is one minor crisis after another, a host of mini-fires that you have to personally extinguish, making it nearly impossible for you to enjoy taking a deep breath let alone a night of hot, dirty, imaginative and oh so raunchy sex.
But we get it. We’ve all been there. We understand that you’re busy. We know that our readers are moms, wives, bread-winners, and everything else in between. We get that you have a career. Or maybe you have twins, and you’re a scientist, single-handedly trying to eradicate cancer every weekday between eight and five while dedicating your evenings and weekends to a little furry pet that won’t stop barking, a husband who’s always hungry and twin girls who follow you around constantly saying “Mommy, Mommy.” Or maybe you’re on the other end of the spectrum: single, childless and loving it, yet you’re trying to balance a million obligations between work and school and you find yourself with no time or energy to actually have sex with any of those hotties you might have met on Tinder.
It sucks being SO busy. In an ideal world, we would all just hang out, eating cake and having wild sex in public places. (Well, that’s my idea of a perfect world, at least.) Unfortunately though, that’s not the world we live in.
Since we can’t change our reality, we have to learn to make sex a non-negotiable part of the incomprehensible equation we call life. We have to make an effort to make sex integral not optional when it comes to our existence. We have to get back to the basics, so to speak. We need to remember that we’re animals, sexual beings who are built, wired and ripe for physical intimacy.
With that in mind, I’ve come up with a few ideas you should try. They’re quick and easy and designed to get you to remember that being busy doesn’t mean your sex life needs to take a backseat to all your other responsibilities and obligations. Being busy just means that you have to work harder to prioritize, reevaluate and come up with a sustainable plan to bring sexy back into your life.
Step 1: Rediscover You
Take off your undies
That’s right. Drop your underpants. Wiggle out of those panties. Let your goodies breathe. Wear a skirt or some loose fitting pants. Let your body remember what it feels like to be free.
This is self-explanatory. Consider masturbation the primer before the final coat of paint. You’re prepping your body for something amazing and the end result will be orgasmic...literally.
Step 2: Shake Up Your Life
Take Time Off for Sex
Whatever you have planned for one afternoon, just don’t do it. Take a half day off from work. Send the kids to granny’s. Do whatever it is you have to do to have an uninterrupted solid one to two hours just for the purpose of making love with your partner. You don’t have to have sex the entire time, but just focus on pleasing each other and nothing else. No cellphones, no TV and no computers are allowed unless they’re being used as a sexual aid.
Add Sex to Your Schedule for Three Weeks Straight
I know it seems like a lot to ask, to go from a dry season directly to having sex like a rabbit, but just try adding sex to your weekly or even daily regimen. Just like you may be disciplined about working out or mopping the floors, be disciplined about having sex. You might think to yourself: Won’t that take away the excitement by making it part of a routine? And the answer is no: The purpose of the three weeks is to get your body to crave sex, to get you accustomed to having it so often that you continue to want it. For many of us, the more we have sex, the more we want it; hence, we’re less likely to go long periods without it.
After you’ve gotten past all the steps above, you’re then in the “maintenance” phase where you might need to spice things up to keep sex interesting and fun. This is the perfect opportunity to try Ardor. So instead of heading straight to bed after working out one night, just clear ten minutes out of your busy schedule to try it. Get familiar with it. Trust me, just looking at the illustrations on the cards are enough to get your panties wet, that is, if you have any on.
One last point my dear reader: Take it easy, busy lady. Don’t let that minefield we call life stop you from having a fulfilling sex life. Make time for sex because by doing so, you’re also making time for you.