Kisses in the night

Ardor game

Hello again everyone!

Its been a month and I feel like my life has gotten even busier. We don't have children, but I am currently seeing the future of our relationship. Its proving to me how important communicating, date nights and games like Ardor are to a relationship. I am fast-forwarding too quickly, let me rewind and try you again.

Weddings are expensive! I took on the coaching position at my school to coach the middle school track team to help pay for the wedding. Great! I am getting paid to exercise and do what I love.

Fantastic? WRONG! It’s a group of adolescents who complain when I make them run more than 400 meters at a time. We have meets once a week and I have had first time coaches training and I could go on and on.

I don’t tell you all of this to force you to sympathize, but to show you I am one of you. I am busier now than I ever have been, and that’s all because I am planning a wedding and trying to pick up over time to pay for it.

Fiance and I rarely see each other.

We are kisses in the night.

I am falling asleep over my dinner most nights, and fighting to stay awake to spend even a half hour with him. I am wearing my rattiest T-shirts to bed each night because they’re cozy. He wears his old sweat pants because they’re cozy.

Sex and intimacy is the farthest thing from our minds. Its obvious by the clothing we wear to bed. I feel horrible for the lack of intimacy in our relationship, and feel absolutely responsible because I am so busy.

The other night, we went to bed in our rattiest clothing and wound up finding ourselves becoming intimate.  It had been so long, it felt new and a little unfamiliar. I was so eager for intimacy and sex with the man I love when I let out a yawn. I wasn’t bored with him, not in the least. I was so exhausted, but insisted on continuing because I was so starved for intimacy with fiancé.

Sex was a struggle that night.

It wasn’t because of our lack of love or desire to be with each other, but it was our inability to communicate. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I was emotionally turned on, but my body was so tired I couldn’t get physically ready for him. I didn’t want to communicate with him that I was embarrassed my body was working against me. Even now, as he lays on the couch I am praying he doesn’t read this article.

Here is my fatal flaw:

I am embarrassed to talk about my body with him. I am also in the middle of a weight loss journey, and am finding that I am embarrassed by the state of my body. Discussing my desires and what my body wants is uncomfortable for me. I am embarrassed to come right out and say what I want or even to turn him down when I know my body can’t handle it. I love this man so much, and I can’t communicate with him that tonight isn’t going to work. So instead, we struggled through sex.

I am sitting here with the game in front of me and I can’t wait to open it again. This weekend, I am excited to get to some real fun with fiancé. For now, we have to put sex on the calendar because of our busy schedules. Mine mostly, but he just signed up for overtime to pay for our wedding. We are following one of my cardinal rules and carving out time for us. We are going on a date on Saturday and then that night we are turning off our phones and playing a full game of Ardor. I have already written down my fantasy for part two.

As I write this, fiancé came with the Ardor box and started flipping through the cards. We are reminiscing about our last encounter with the game. He is holding up cards as I type this and it's distracting.

I realize how much we miss each other, physically. The cards alone are enough to turn a woman on, let alone the man of your dreams telling you he wants to try this again. He keeps tossing me cards or dangling them in my face. The ones he is super serious about, like the hot and spicy card that is currently getting me all hot and bothered is the "Rodeo" card. Fiance goes back and forth between being a breast man and a tooshie (butt) man. Depending on what he grabs first, I know what he is in the mood for. He grabbed my butt while I was cooking before so it is no surprise that rodeo is on his agenda tonight.

We may skip the foreplay tonight and just get into it because it has been so long and, well, this woman is hot after flipping through these sexy picture cards. I can’t wait to finish the game all the way through on Saturday night because I have a feeling that our dog might need therapy after we’re done.

Stay tuned lovelies! I’ll give you all the torrid details on Sunday morning!


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